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Excerpt continued from Ready or Not...Here We Come!

One wise mom I met summed it up perfectly when she said, “People without twins make such a big deal out of how you do it. You just do it. You have a sense of humor about it as often as possible. And you take it a day, sometimes an hour, at a time.”

Some people will comment that God never gives you more than you can handle, and you will respond, “Yes, but unfortunately, I think He’s confused me with someone else.” Then, the baby you’ve been praying would sleep for at least six minutes will sleep for an hour.

A finely tuned sense of humor is critical. If you don’t have one, get one—fast. After all, few situations in life are true catastrophes, even though they may initially feel like they are. When you smile at or laugh at a situation, it passes almost instantly. When you cry or yell, it sticks around much longer. Yes, occasionally you’ll laugh and then stoically profess, “Okay, but seriously, we have to figure this out,” or not laugh at all and, instead, yell, “We need to fix this right now!” But if you try the former approach as often as possible, it will help tremendously. As writer Kurt Vonnegut once said, “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”

David, father of twin sons Jonathon and Jake, remembers, “At one point, our boys were having a particularly bad night. My wife and I were in the middle of changing the fourth diaper in one hour, plus two sets of sheets—and it was 3:00 a.m. My wife said, ‘At least it cannot get any worse!’ We got back in bed and our two-year-old daughter promptly walked into our room proclaiming she did not feel well. Within ten seconds, she vomited all over the four loads of freshly washed and folded laundry. All we could do was laugh. The alternative was simply too depressing!”

Start this moment to realign your expectations. I recently heard that it takes approximately 196 hours per week to raise triplets. What’s the problem with that? There are only 168 hours in a week! If you divide the 196 hours by three, and thereby presume that the tasks associated with each baby require approximately sixty-five hours, it could be reasonably estimated that raising twins takes approximately 130 hours per week. I’m certain that the third baby does not, in and of himself, take up the whole of those additional sixty-six hours. Therefore, I’ve concluded that raising twins takes somewhere between 130 and 196 hours per week. That’s a lot of hours. Clearly, a few lifestyle modifications are in order.

If you are a person who needs your house to be spotless day-in and day-out, invent a twelve-step program that breaks your need for a completely clean dwelling all the time (unless you have a full-time housekeeper). I remember an evening when my husband, David, arrived home from work. I was sweating, unshowered, hungry, and unable to find Jack’s pajamas that I had just set out. Poor guy mentioned something about a major sale on speakers he’d waited years to buy. My retort was simple and straightforward. Through clenched teeth, I said, “Money does not grow on trees and neither do housekeepers. Look at this place! Now give me some help!” I think I actually scared him because he didn’t waste any time. He went straight for the vacuum cleaner. Whether it was my appearance or my demeanor that frightened him into action, I’m not entirely sure.