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A quick note: don’t allow yourself to get overwhelmed by all the “experts” out there. They are a voluminous and endless source of suggestions no doubt, but at the end of the day, you are the expert on your children and on what’s right for your family. If every parent did the amount of research she felt comfortable with, made the decision that seemed appropriate at that point in time, and just went with it instead of lying awake at night worrying about whether or not she should take this approach or that approach and whether, if she chose wrong, her child might end up incarcerated by the age of thirteen, the number of anxiety-related ulcers would decrease by over a third, I’m sure.
Be prepared to be forced more than once―much more than once―to close your eyes and take a leap of faith, the same way you did the day you brought those beautiful babies home. Those sorts of leaps can be quite daunting. Once in the air, you will have to believe that you’ll land on solid ground. Sort of like that game you used to play at camp where you’d turn your back to your fellow campers and then fall backward with hope and a prayer that they’d catch you. (I refused to play this game because I knew what my fellow campers were actually planning to do and it did not involve catching anyone!)
The secret to surviving these leaps of faith lies in the belief that the answer that’s right for you and your family will catch you. It takes an incredible amount of trust to believe―to know―that even though you’re stepping off of a steep cliff, your feet will meet with solid ground. Work on your ability to trust that they will, and you’ll change the way you approach the uncertainty that lies ahead―in parenting as well as everything else.
I once saw a commercial wherein some arbitrary question was posed to a randomly selected woman, and a choice of responses was provided. Next, miraculously, the woman was informed by angels precisely which choice was the right one for her. Sounds awfully deep, but I think it was a fast-food commercial―you know, do I choose a side salad or fries? I thought, “If we could have consistent, clear guidance like that for the toddler years with twins, for parenting period, it sure would make things a whole lot easier!”
In my first book, I suggested that there are two critical components to surviving Phase One (the first year) with twins: perspective and humor. Those traits are just as important in Phase Two. I would also like to add another: Very Low Expectations.
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