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  • From Zero to 5K: A Journey

From Zero to 5K: A Journey

So Tracy Floyd challenged me to run the IMS Marathon 5K in March. 

Stop laughing. I will barely run to the car. Seriously. As I say in Rule 1 of You Cannot Be Serious, and I quote:


"...underneath the all-too-common verbiage ['I can't] it's that I don't really want to. Because if I really wanted to run a marathon (and I don't), I could. It would suck, and I might die mid-way through training, but I could do it (if I didn't die mid-way through training). I simply choose not to."

I'm pretty sure, however, that Never Say No To Tracy is the as-yet-unpublished Rule 36. So I said Yes.

That was my first mistake.

My second mistake, in case you're wondering, was telling her that she would have to endure my whining during training. Apparently she finds whining entertaining. Super.

Sidenote: Shortly after I agreed to do the 5K, Tracy took advantage of the cautious empowerment I was feeing and asked me to do the Tough Mudder with her. AND I AGREED. Because I'm stupid. And then, suddenly, everyone got all excited about the risk of electrocution halfway through Tough Mudder, and I was like, "Wait. You mean I have to run AND quite probably get electrocuted?"

So, yeah, I'm not doing Tough Mudder. I mean, not this year. 

Also, no one bothered to mention in that discussion that Tough Mudder is 13 miles. (Plus electrocution.) I might as well just kiss everyone I love goodbye at the starting line because I won't cross the finish line until ... ever. 

Anyway. Back to this 5K I've gotten myself into (oh, and Jaime from Glendale? She got herself into it as well via my Facebook page this morning. And I'm hereby holding her to the You Don't Say No to Tracy standard). 

In preparation for this event, I've gotten myself not one but TWO trainers.

They are persistent and they know how to push my buttons. They are also 13. 

Here we are before our first run. You can probably infer exactly the way it went down by the looks on their faces, specifically the one in green.

The first run involved some absolutely unacceptable training approaches. Approaches which sadly worked. 

I shall detail them in the next post. 

Now...who's gonna join us?

  • Author avatar
    Elizabeth Lyons
  • humor

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