You Cannot Be Serious: and 32 Other Rules that Sustain a (Mostly) Balanced Mom (eBook)

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"Dear Abby meets Tina Fey."
-Jenna McCarthy, best-selling author of several side-splitting novels. (Her latest, Pretty Much Screwed, is pretty much a necessity.)

Whether she's negotiating a truce between her 10- and 5-year-old while eulogizing goldfish, swinging a sledgehammer in her garage-to-be-nursery, bribing her twins to keep their pants on in the grocery store, planning her product line, strategically placing carrot seeds in her garden, receiving life lessons from her oldest daughter, or explaining to her kids why a fellow post office patron has pierced nipples, Elizabeth Lyons has discovered that the secret to navigating the land of euphoria and hysteria is a carefully crafted set of rules -- for herself!

You Cannot Be Serious is a contemporary and humorous roadmap for "doing it all" that any woman can relate to for untying her own "nots." And for moms who lie awake at night wondering if their sanity will remain intact until the kids move out, Lyons provides a girlfriend-to-girlfriend guide, not just for getting through each day, but for being able to say with conviction, "I love my life."


Topics Include:

  • Self-Limiting Perspectives are Not Allowed
  • Woman, Know Thyself
  • Fly Your Freak Flag High
  • Chaos Breeds Character
  • Cleanliness is Overrated
  • Have No Expectations (But Expect the Unexpected)
  • Repeat After Me: I'm a Good Mom (Even If I Don't Scrapbook)